An Ode To Food

So, I've decided to "pick up the pen" again, as it were to begin jotting some musings down as they come, this time in the form of a new blog. Most good names of blogs are taken, but imagine my surprise when I realized that "Matt R Of Fact" was not! Clearly being a Matt R you can see the joy I felt at actually being allowed my first choice of word play for this blog!

We'll see how this blog goes as far as what it turns into. I prefer not to define or aim for anything, instead seeing how it flows in future. Either way, I'm sure there will be ranting galore, so do enjoy and feel free to comment if you so choose!

I figured, what better way to begin my new blog than by discussing the essence of us all, the foundation of our very existence, included in some way shape or form in every culture? Yes, I am talking about food. Food, glorious food... and, we're done with the Oliver! references. Promise.

I just finished the leftovers of a glorious sandwich from the deli across the street from my office that they call the Roast Beef Grand. This sandwich features fresh, juicy roast beef piled high atop a pleasantly grainy bread and topped with onions, tomatoes, cole slaw and a little bit of Russian dressing. I know, cole slaw, right? I never eat cole slaw - except on this sandwich, so maybe that tells you just how amazing it is.

Anyway, I begin this discussion because I think to myself just how delightfully wonderful this sandwich is, and just how sad it is that another landmark date is upon us. Oh, believe me these two thoughts are related, bear with me. You see, next Monday the nation will celebrate Labor Day (ironically by not working) heralding the titular end of summer and the beginning of fall. Children will be dragged sobbing from their beds where they until-all-too-recently had been allowed to slumber until noon or later if they so chose. No longer for them the lazy summer days filled with Wii, visiting friends, and trips to the beach. No, they must now begin their trek into their schools, resulting in a doubling of the traffic one usually sees on the morning commute (my question is - and will probably be posed again on Tuesday - where were all of these people at this time prior to Labor Day?). For many businesses and organizations the fall begins all too quickly. No longer the lighter workload allowing each person to use their much-coveted vacation time at staggered intervals during this three month period. The tasks mount and life begins anew. Indeed, one could argue that for many people Labor Day is nothing more than a slightly less glorified version of New Year's Day - those resolutions we conveniently forgot about during the summer suddenly find themselves resurrected and reinserted into our daily lives (for now).

Among those, many people use Labor Day as the "Fat Tuesday" of the summer - their last ditch effort to get in all of those last vices and pleasures before the reality of their newfound spartan existence begins. For, I ask you, what is the number one New Year's resolution, or at least what the media proffers as the leading candidate? You guessed it! Diet, exercise, lose weight, get healthy. A diet by any other name never smelled so foul.

Yes, I - along with many other people, I'd surmise - will begin the inevitable quest to "get healthier" and to get back "to normal" once more. No longer for us will there be the Roast Beef Grand sandwich to delight in. No more will there be cheese and crackers, martinis (fruity or otherwise!), mint M&Ms (which, by the way need to be outlawed), boneless buffalo wings doused in creamy blue cheese sauce. Instead, I return to the crunchy blandness of lettuce mix peppered with enough low-fat dressing to make it choke-downable. I return to the black hole of flavor that is a piece of chicken mixed with assorted vegetables. About the only thing to look forward to are the protein shakes I will get to have post-workout and throughout the day because they at least pretend to be flavored like chocolate and vanilla. Farewell to the mornings of "sleeping in" (ha!) until the late hour of 7:00 AM. Welcome back the 5:30 AM alarm clock ringings to rouse myself and kick off the day with the torturous weighlifting and cardiovascular routines that strive to turn the flavorless schlock consumed the day before into lean muscle mass.

Yes, I actually do enjoy working out and find joy in healthy food once I'm in the groove. But right now, I'm clinging to my last week of freedom to eat four cheese macaroni mixed with ground beef followed by cheesecake from Carnegie's deli. My unabashed desire (and subsequent followthrough) to order a martini sampler. I'm clinging to my additional hours of sleep and delightfully not sore limbs.

How do you think I will make this magical transformation between slothful glutton and model athlete? How can this change possibly be made overnight and maintained? Perhaps the pictures I plan on placing on the refridgerator reminding me of what I could look like if I don't stop myself from eating the entire half gallon of ice cream in one sitting; perhaps the fact that my body will probably be ready for a healthy, nutritious source of fuel; but more likely it's the realization that I might be performing onstage mostly naked in a few months.